Good evening, it’s Jeff again from the Self Help Tips Blog.  Thanks for continuing to read my self-help information during these long winter months.  Today I would like to discuss a topic that we have not touched on enough:  Self Esteem.

Everyone feels down now and then.  No one can accomplish everything that they set out to do in life.  In fact, most of us have a hard enough time accomplishing our daily tasks, let alone life-long goals.  As the saying goes, “Too much to do, too little time…”

One thing that we all need to remember is that our self esteem is directly tied to our baseline level of happiness.  Those of us who have low self esteem have a harder time being happy than those who have a high level of self esteem.  In fact, in 1969 psychologist Nathaniel Branden defined self-esteem as "The experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness."  This topic has been discussed by many notable psychologists and philosophers including the Dalai Lama, William James and even television personality Dr. Phil.

Low self esteem has been shown to effect grades, personal relationships, motivation and a number of other aspects of our lives.  Children with low self esteem often become the grade school or neighborhood bully. Although it is not always the case, many adults with low self-worth have been known to become violent, both verbally and physically. 

One of the best ways to conqueror low self esteem is to look back upon your life’s accomplishments.  Each and every one of us has done things throughout our lives that we can be proud of.  Whether it’s having a child, landing a good job, finishing school or helping someone in need, take time to reflect on the things you have accomplished and find the strength and determination within them.  Take pride in the path that you have taken in life and move forward.

Friends and relatives can be another excellent source of pride and inspiration.  Tell your best friend how you feel about yourself.  Let your brother or sister know about the hard times that you are facing.  Chances are, they will remind you of a time in the past when you were on top of the world, ready to face any challenge that life threw at you.  Your friends and family know that you are a good person and will be able to give you examples of why you are one.

Possibly the best place that I have found words of encouragement when it comes to self esteem is through holy texts.  Sit down with a book such as the Bible, the Koran, the Tao or a host of other religious teachings.  It doesn’t matter whether you believe the entire book… the point is that these books are meant to be a source of guidance and inspiration.  Trust me… they do an excellent job.  They wouldn’t have survived thousands of years of scrutiny if they didn’t.

For those who are unable to lift themselves out of the depths of depression caused by low self-esteem, I highly recommend seeing a professional.  No one should have to go through life feeling as though it is not worth living, or that they are not good enough.  You ARE good enough for your friends, family, community and – most importantly – yourself.